Lying to My Mother

[ricevermicelli]

My mother is coming tomorrow, to take care of the kid, since it's a national holiday. She really wants to. I'd be disappointing her if I canceled. But I have spent the day in a process of arranging things so that my mother will (I hope) believe falsehoods.

I have cleaned the bathrooms. So that she will believe we are clean people! And perhaps even believe that we clean the bathrooms on a regular and somewhat frequent basis!

I have tidied the living room, so that it will not even occur to her that we might allow the baby to play with unplugged hotplates.

If I have time, I will go through the mail, to present the appearance that we read that stuff, and not merely that we receive it.

All this deceit provokes backlashes of honesty. For the last twenty minutes, schr0dinger has been attempting to make trumpet noises using the (mercifully unused) applicator tip that came with a tube of hemorrhoid cream. Don't tell my mother.

Comments

[bookdivalia.livejournal.com]

That last paragraph is so special in so many ways.

[zathrus.livejournal.com]

Heh. I soooo sympathize. Except that usually, the one I lie to is my MIL. She's more judgmental about such things than my mother.

Anything vaguely clean and plastic from the recycling bin usually makes a good toy, too. Or really, anything plastic. Kids love plastic. I'm not sure why. It took my daughter several months after we tried to introduce solids to decide that the flavor of food was preferable to that of plastic.

Newt

[ricevermicelli.livejournal.com]

Empty milk jugs from the recycling bin are the best. We've started putting non-baby safe recycling in the bin behind the basement door.

[drwex]

I'm snorking out loud because I'm relatively certain K did something similar at about that age. Fortunately no parents were involved.