Things To Talk About That Aren't My Kid

[ricevermicelli]

Being a list for reference, beginning with an explanation, which was inspired by and is aimed at robbbbbb. (And which I hope comes off as amusing, because otherwise it's just bitchy.)

It's not a problem that *you* can only talk about your kid. Your kid is five days old. I believe I have congratulated you several times. At your stage, burbling obsession with an infant is considered rather adorable in a father. (At your stage, burbling is all you need to be identified as "A Great Dad," which I'm sure you are and will continue to be, but the recognition standards for fathers are absurdly low - just don't shake the baby - while the recognition standards for mother are absurdly high, but that's a post I may have made a few months back and need not repeat.)

It's been ten and a half months now. As a conversational subject, the baby is wearing on everyone's nerves, particularly mine. It's not that he's not lovely (he is, in fact, even cuter than yours). It's that there is only so much the general public is interested in. And the person I most want to talk to has seen most of the baby stuff, being as he lives with us here in our house and does rather a lot with the baby himself. We need some variety.

So. Alternate conversational topics.

I have a new job. Most of the things I work with and on are conversational non-starters, as they are embargoed by either non-disclosure agreements or professional ethics. I can assure you, however, that at least some of them promise to be very interesting! I will know them by myself in my head and the aura of mystery around me will render me fascinating enough to the observer that I will probably be able to sneak in some comments about the baby.

Apparently, the nation is preparing for some sort of election, involving a very high public office. Some people are running, some have recently stopped running, some are expected to give up any day now, others are expected to hold on until the bitter end. I'm really not sure what the issues are, or how the candidates differ from each other. None of them are allowed to kiss my child.

Football. The team from my local area is this very moment playing in a championship game. There will be good commercials, I hear, and some sort of halftime show. I am not watching because I just put the baby to sleep and I don't want to turn the tv on because the noise will probably wake him.

CNN says that some actor was found dead by his masseuse, who responded to the emergency by speed dialing Mary Kate Olson. I must make sure to raise my child to understand that the appropriate first phone call in such a circumstance is 911.

Some people I know are getting married, or might be getting married, and some are having babies, or might be having babies. I am excited for all of these things, especially those that might result in people who are more willing than average to put up with me talking about my baby.

I have made New Year's resolutions (I made them late because I was really distracted with baby stuff): make peace with desire, eat healthier, jog more. I expect very mixed results.

Comments

[kitmf.livejournal.com]

And you thought you were having trouble getting your mind off the baby.

Actually, the kid is your first thought forever after. But after having talked about the baby you can go on to other topics.

Or to quote my mother - who is on to the great-grandchildren stage - "it is much more worrisome when they grow up because they bring home spouses and have children of there own so you have more of them to worry about and they're harder to keep track of".

[kitmf.livejournal.com]

There are days when I can spell. Today is apparently not one of them.

[bookdivalia.livejournal.com]

I still like hearing about the baby. Sometimes I don't have enough cute baby stuff in my day, so I go steal the baby from the international students woman. She doesn't mind terribly.

I'd much rather hear about the baby than about business school or tax law. I promise. forever and ever.

[graceo.livejournal.com]

The Superbowl was played in my town! As a consequence, the art museum was almost empty this afternoon. We saw approximately 15 other people the entire time we were there (not counting art museum staff). Also, we saw _The Death of Marat_ in 5 different incarnations original to David's studio. Hanna had a lovely conversation about Monet with a docent, and we got to make as much noise as we liked. Which was quite a bit. They have this installation called _You Who are About to be Wiped Out by a Swarm of Fireflies_ which is basically a dark room with mirrors on the walls and floor and color-changing LED lights on varying lengths of cord hanging from the ceiling. We had to bribe Hanna to come out.

I like hearing about the baby too.

[robbbbbb.livejournal.com]

It's good to know that I'm not the only one fixated on a baby. Of course, I have an excuse: My kid is the cutest on the planet. Even cuter than yours. I swear. I have independent, expert verification in the person of his grandmother. Two, in fact. Both grandmothers.

So, uh, yeah. I managed to work in the fact that I'm a new father into a conversation with the clerk at the grocery store. It's probably a good thing I'm off work for another week, because I think all I'd do is watch the videos I've taken of him. I'm hopeless.

And I certainly wouldn't let any aspiring presidents kiss my child. He might catch something from one of them. He's still only six days old, y'know, and his immune system is fragile. Why do politicians try to kiss babies, anyway? Do they think it makes them more lovable? (Some of them, I suspect, need all the lovable they can get.)

[beth_leonard]

Congrats on parenthood!

--Beth

[bookdivalia.livejournal.com]

awwwww

[nemene.livejournal.com]

What there are topics to discuss other then our children? There is world outside our house that has merits? It is not just a place of threats we must shield our children from at all costs?

A revelation this earth shattering needs some build up and suger-coating to be digestible...

[drwex]

You continue to rock like a rocking thing *grin*

I have to say that I had some practice at this kind of thing because when I was doing my PhD it was quite completely as life- and conversation-absorbing as a child. Except much less cute.

So, yes, do talk about other things and also the cuteness of the child.

And if you ever figure out how to make peace with desire please share with me the secret as I've never ever managed anything like it, even remotely for a small amount of time. Which could explain some of the problems my children are demonstrating...