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An Open Letter to Brad Paisley
Aug. 7th, 2005 01:48 pmDear Mr. Paisley,
Attached herewith, please find my application to relocate into your personal universe. I would be happy to accept your decorating tips. Take some of these candles out, and hang a dead fish wherever you want. I'll just run myself a bubble bath while you get started. Come in and kiss me when you want a break. I promise to keep you waiting whenever you'd like to go out, and we can put a real comfy bench on the front porch for you to kick your heels on. I hope that your personal universe overlaps enough with Kenny Chesney's that the bar you go to when we fight will be tended by a professional relationship counselor, who will feed you milk and cookies and good advice before sending you back home. If you plead for the lives of flowers, I will probably forgive you on the grounds that you made me laugh. I appreciate the optimism of your approach to love, but I am relieved that if the relationship ever ends, it will be really truly final.
Unfortunately, I am unlikely to decide I want to leave you just because you like to go fishing without me. I also will not resist your overtures in clubs: I don't believe in love at first sight, but I would love to dance. Tell the fiddle to keep that lick going, and it will be the best dance you ever had.
Thank you in advance for your consideration.
Attached herewith, please find my application to relocate into your personal universe. I would be happy to accept your decorating tips. Take some of these candles out, and hang a dead fish wherever you want. I'll just run myself a bubble bath while you get started. Come in and kiss me when you want a break. I promise to keep you waiting whenever you'd like to go out, and we can put a real comfy bench on the front porch for you to kick your heels on. I hope that your personal universe overlaps enough with Kenny Chesney's that the bar you go to when we fight will be tended by a professional relationship counselor, who will feed you milk and cookies and good advice before sending you back home. If you plead for the lives of flowers, I will probably forgive you on the grounds that you made me laugh. I appreciate the optimism of your approach to love, but I am relieved that if the relationship ever ends, it will be really truly final.
Unfortunately, I am unlikely to decide I want to leave you just because you like to go fishing without me. I also will not resist your overtures in clubs: I don't believe in love at first sight, but I would love to dance. Tell the fiddle to keep that lick going, and it will be the best dance you ever had.
Thank you in advance for your consideration.
